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Having Good Sex in Menopause

Menopause is when your period stops permanently and your estrogen and progesterone levels go down. You are officially in menopause when you haven’t had your period for one year. The time leading up to the last menstrual cycle that we typically think of having hot flashes and other side effects is actually called perimenopause or the menopausal transition. This transition into menopause can happen anywhere from four to seven years before your last period, and after you’re in menopause, many symptoms can last for up to 14 years! Yowza! Menopause is an experience that all menstruating people will have, and it takes up a good portion of your life. 

Why does menopause affect sex drive?

Because of the changing hormone levels during menopause, your sexual desire and physical sexual experiences might change. Along with the more well-known symptoms of menopause such as mood swings, hot flashes, headaches, and forgetfulness, vaginal dryness can also lead to discomfort during penetrative sex. These hormonal changes, as well as the physical changes happening to the body, can lead to an overall decreased interest in penetrative sex. If you are still wanting to feel physically close and intimate with your partner, there are ways to do that even in menopause.

How else can you enjoy sex?

Open your mind as to what a physical, intimate experience with your partner (or yourself) can be. Penetrative sex is not the only option for pleasure. If penetrative sex no longer feels good due to lack of lubrication, try some other stuff. You can incorporate sex toys like a vibrator that stimulates the clitoris or the nipples or explore other erogenous zones such as the ears, the nipples, or behind the knees. You could read a sexy story together or give each other a sensual massage. Penetrative sex is not the only option, and exploring new ways of touching and pleasuring each other is an erotic experience that could bring you and your partner closer. 

Lubricants are great for menopausal sex

If you are wanting to experience penetrative sex, however, you can use lubricants right before inserting anything into the vagina or talk to your doctor about prescribed estrogen that will increase your vaginal lubrication over a period of several weeks. Lubricants can be found at any drug store and can be used at the moment of penetrative sex. Water-based lubricant is always best, as it is compatible with sex toys and condoms. If you’re wanting prescribed estrogen, visit your doctor and chat about it. 

This can make penetrative sex more enjoyable. You might notice after menopause though, that your body responds to touch a little differently. This is totally normal. Take your time, communicate with your partner, and don’t be afraid to use toys or other sexy items like erotica to turn yourself and your partner on. 

Some people have an increased sex drive after menopause once the risk of unwanted pregnancy is gone. Not everyone experiences a decrease in their interest in sexual activity. If you do though, talk to your doctor, talk to your partner, and get creative. Your body has changed during this time, so it’s natural if your sexual desires and activities change with it.

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How to Deal with Vaginal Dryness

The vagina is a truly magnificent part of the body. Not only can it bring life into this world and then bounce back to its original shape, but it also is a self-cleaning organ. The vagina is lined with a thin layer of moisture that keeps the vaginal pH steady, preventing irritation/infection, and allowing sperm to become fertilized during procreative sex. This moisture is caused by estrogen, one of the female sex hormones. When estrogen levels decrease, the moisture in the vagina decreases as well, causing vaginal dryness.

What is vaginal dryness?

Vaginal dryness isn’t necessarily an unsafe condition, but it can be uncomfortable. Vaginal dryness can cause burning or itching, discomfort, as well as pain during or after intercourse. It can also cause bleeding after intercourse. Although vaginal dryness is a normal, natural part of life, pain during or after sex does not need to be. There are many ways to treat vaginal dryness and ensure you have a fun, pleasurable sex life. Vaginal dryness can also cause urinary tract infections.

How do hormones affect our vagina?

Estrogen levels lower naturally as we age, especially during menopause. One in three women experiences vaginal dryness as part of their menopause symptoms. Dropping estrogen levels can also be caused by childbirth, breastfeeding, excessive stress, rigorous exercise, some medication, as well as some cancer treatments. If you have a vagina, you will experience vaginal dryness at some point. It’s pretty common. If you do experience vaginal dryness and it is causing you UTIs, discomfort, or pain during sex, even a loss of interest in sex, talk to your doctor and find a treatment.

What type of lubricant should I use?

Over-the-counter lubricant can be an easy way to treat vaginal dryness during penis-in-vagina sex, or when inserting toys or fingers into the vagina. Water-based lubricant works best, as it is safe to use with condoms and all types of sex toys. Be sure to get a fragrance-free lubricant so you don’t cause any irritation to the vagina. Lube can be found at any grocery store or drug store, is fairly inexpensive, and can be used in the moment to treat vaginal dryness and make intercourse more pleasurable.

Other treatments for vaginal dryness

If you are wanting a long-term treatment for vaginal dryness, or are having issues outside of discomfort during sex, you can take estrogen to increase the moisture your vagina is naturally producing. You can take an estrogen pill that will also help treat any other menopausal symptoms, insert a cream into the vagina, or use an estrogen ring, also inserted into the vagina. Your doctor inserts the ring into the vagina, and it releases estrogen into the body. Similar to the ring birth control, it needs to be replaced every three weeks. The cream is also inserted once or twice a week, then can be decreased over time and used as needed. 

Although vaginal dryness is a normal, natural part of aging or experiencing life, being in pain is not. Use lubricant or talk to your doctor to find a treatment that makes you and your body feel good.

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How Does a Hysterectomy Work?

March is Endometriosis Awareness Month. Endometriosis is a condition when the tissue lining the inside of the uterus that is usually shed during menstruation, grows outside of the uterus. Oftentimes endometriosis can be treated with hormonal birth control or surgery to remove excess uterine tissue. In some extreme cases, however, a hysterectomy is performed to treat severe symptoms of endometriosis.

What is a hysterectomy?

A hysterectomy is a surgical procedure where the uterus is removed. A hysterectomy can be done to treat uterine fibroids, a uterine prolapse where part of the uterus slides into the vagina, endometriosis as mentioned above, chronic pelvic pain, abnormal vaginal bleeding, adenomyosis (a thickening of the uterus), or uterine, ovarian or cervical cancer. 

What are the different types of hysterectomies?

Depending on the reason for the hysterectomy, different parts of the reproductive organs will be removed. In a supracervical hysterectomy, the upper part of the uterus is removed. A total hysterectomy removes the whole uterus and the cervix. A radical hysterectomy removes the entire uterus, the cervix, the surrounding tissue, and the top part of the vaginal canal. A radical hysterectomy is less common than the other types and is used only when cancer is being treated and removed.  

Either an open hysterectomy or a minimally invasive hysterectomy will be performed. The type of hysterectomy performed depends on the surgeon doing it, and also the reason for the surgery, as well as the patient’s overall health. There are differences in healing time, as well as how invasive the surgery is, so it is important that the type of surgery best serves the patient and their condition. An open or abdominal hysterectomy is most common and includes an incision being made across the patient’s belly. The uterus is removed through this five- to seven-inch incision. Because the patient has to be surgically cut open, they often spend a few days in the hospital afterward for recovery. There will also be a visible scar on the patient’s belly as they heal. 

What is a vaginal hysterectomy?

A minimally invasive hysterectomy has a few different approaches. One minimally invasive option is a vaginal hysterectomy. This consists of a surgeon making an incision in the vagina and removing the uterus this way. Since the incision would be inside the body, there is no visible scar left behind. A laparoscopic hysterectomy is done using a laparoscope to guide the surgeon as they perform the hysterectomy outside the body. The laparoscope has a camera on the end and is inserted into a small cut made in the belly or belly button. The surgeon is able to remove the uterus by viewing the inside of the body through this camera. Wild!

A laparoscopic-assisted vaginal hysterectomy combines the two options listed above, using the laparoscope to help remove the uterus through an incision in the vagina. Because this procedure is less invasive and doesn’t require as large of an incision, the recovery is a little less intense. A minimally invasive hysterectomy is only a good option depending on the person and severity of the condition, which is why an open hysterectomy is much more common. 

What can you expect from the recovery process?

The recovery process after a hysterectomy is similar to recovery after any major surgery. An open hysterectomy requires about four to six weeks of recovery time. The patient needs to rest, refrain from physical activity, and shouldn’t do any heavy lifting during this time. For a minimally invasive hysterectomy, recovery time is similar but lasts about three to four weeks instead. After the hysterectomy, the patient should feel relief from the symptoms associated with whatever condition prompted the surgery. 

If the ovaries are still in the body after the surgery, the patient shouldn’t experience any hormonal changes. If the ovaries are removed, however, and the patient has not experienced menopause yet, they are now in menopause. The ovaries contain the eggs that are released every month that causes menstruation, so if you no longer have ovaries, you can no longer menstruate, thus entering menopause. Because of this, the patient will likely experience symptoms associated with menopause such as mood swings, hot flashes, change in sex drive, and vaginal dryness. These symptoms can be treated with hormone replacement therapy. If the patient is under the typical age when menopause usually begins (between 45-55), their doctor will very likely have them use hormones so they are better able to navigate these changes. 

No matter the type of hysterectomy, it is recommended to wait to have sex for at least six weeks as the body heals. Some patients might notice their pelvic floor feels weaker after this surgery, which can cause less control over your bladder, as well as loss of sensation during sex. Pelvic floor exercises or even pelvic floor therapy can help with the healing process as well. Kegel exercises are a great option to strengthen the pelvic floor.

Who should consider having a hysterectomy?

A hysterectomy is not taken lightly and is performed to treat uterine fibroids, a uterine prolapse where part of the uterus slides into the vagina, endometriosis as mentioned above, chronic pelvic pain, abnormal vaginal bleeding, adenomyosis (a thickening of the uterus), or uterine, ovarian or cervical cancer. Because the uterus is removed, it is no longer possible to experience pregnancy. Despite that consideration, hysterectomies help treat a variety of serious conditions and can be life-changing in terms of pain relief and cancer removal for those experiencing any of the conditions mentioned above. 

It is important to stay on top of your reproductive health. Women and people with uteruses should visit their gynecologist on a yearly basis, receive scheduled Pap smears, as well as physical exams. If you’re experiencing any severe pain abdominal pain or abnormal bleeding, contact your doctor right away. You should not have to live in severe pain due to your reproductive organs, and this intense pain could be indicative of something much more serious. Because reproductive organs are tucked away inside of us, it is hard to know what is going on without consulting a professional. Looking after your reproductive health is just as important as maintaining your physical health overall. 

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Weight-Bearing Exercise and Menopause

From the beginning of time, people with uteruses have experienced menopause. Menopause occurs when a person’s estrogen and progesterone levels decrease and their period permanently stops. This decrease in hormone levels typically starts between the ages of 45 and 55 in people with uteruses, but it can sometimes start earlier or later. Once you have gone without a period for a whole year, you are officially menopausal. Congrats! If you want to start preventing symptoms now, you may be able to thanks to the connection between exercise and menopause. 

What to expect in menopause

The time leading up to menopause where you experience symptoms like hot flashes, mood swings, and decreased muscle mass is called perimenopause. This begins during the ages of 45-55 (sometimes sooner, as I mentioned), and symptoms from this period can last for up to 14 years after menopause is done. That seems unfair to me!! During this time, your baby-making hormones are decreasing, and your body is no longer able to make a baby. That’s why it causes someone’s period to stop. Similar to puberty when all of your sex hormones are gearing up, menopause can come with a lot of symptoms. In addition to hot flashes and mood swings which we are typically aware of, menopause can also cause a decrease in bone density and a decrease in muscle mass. 

Estrogen levels are linked to healthy bones and muscles in women and people with uteruses, so when these levels decrease, bone mass and muscles decrease as well. Many studies have shown that people who practice some form of exercise, particularly weight-bearing exercise, experience some milder symptoms related to this decrease during menopause. 

How exercise can help symptoms

Lifting weights and doing strength training helps increase bone density. It’s recommended that women in the early 40s start exercising intentionally to lessen the symptoms of menopause even before they begin. If you lift weights, even light ones, and build up that bone density and muscle mass for years before your menopausal symptoms even begin, your body will be in an even healthier state to make up for some of those losses once those hormones start to fluctuate. 

Cardio exercise is also recommended for menopausal women. Dancing, going for walks, light jogging, and yoga are all great for relieving stress and mood swings that accompany changing hormones, but they also ensure the body is fit and healthy, creating as pleasant of a menopausal experience as possible.

Start to exercise and menopause may be milder

If you begin weight training now, when perimenopause beings, hopefully, some of the physical changes in the body will be less noticeable or less painful. Although a great stress reliever, unfortunately, weight training won’t stop hot flashes from happening. Some women will treat this with hormone replacement therapy, or HRT. During this treatment, patients take either estrogen, progesterone, or both to help alleviate menopause symptoms. By adding in some hormones through treatment, the decline in these hormones in the body will hopefully be milder. 

Although I am decades away from experiencing menopause myself, it’s something I’ve become increasingly fascinated with. Despite learning about my period and birth control very thoroughly, no one has ever talked to me about what to expect in menopause. It seems like a scary adventure no one is talking about. 

Resources such as The Menopause Manifesto by Dr. Jen Gunter talk in-depth about this time of life and ways to handle the changes and live a wonderful life after menopause. This, in addition to exercising and talking with your doctor can make menopause a less scary thing to navigate.

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Holiday Season Sex Tips

It’s the holiday season, baby!!! Typically the winter holidays mean lots of stress, lots of shopping, and lots of family time. Three things that don’t scream sexy sex time, right? Although this time of year is full of things that could cramp your sexual style, such as staying in your childhood bedroom a wall away from your parents while home for the holidays, I’ve got some holiday season sex tips for you!

Reduce the stress this holiday season

A large reason it is hard to get some sexiness going through the holidays is the stress! If your partner is the one hosting, cooking, buying all the presents, wrapping all the presents, and inviting everyone to your home, they do not have the time or energy to think about having sex with you! Share in some of those responsibilities! Finish up the shopping and wrap everything for them. Ask them what they need help with. Not only is this super thoughtful and lovely, but it frees up their schedule a bit.

Get out of the ordinary 

If you’re going home for the holidays and are staying with family members and don’t feel like you can fully get your freak on, consider staying in a hotel. If you don’t have the means to do this or you just don’t want to, this presents an opportunity to get creative. Try and have completely silent sex. Fun! Have sex in the car after running errands together. Schedule a sexy interaction during a small window of time when everyone else will be out of the house. Discreetly sext each other throughout the day in front of everyone. No one will know!! The disruption from the ordinary is fun, and the feeling of getting away with something sexy that no one knows about is fun too!

Make holiday season sex playful

Get playful! Dress up as a sexy Santa, Mrs. Claus, or another holiday-themed thing. An elf, perhaps? Do naked holiday cookie frosting. Spread the frosting on each other’s bodies. Lick it off! Gift each other certificates promising fun sexy stuff like a massage or romantic date. Even if you feel silly, tapping into your sense of play makes sex fun! 

Flirt it up and stay safe

If you’re single and ready to mingle this holiday season, flirt it up!! Flirt with everyone and expect nothing in return. Freely flirting helps you tap into your own sexy side, just for you. It’s fun to share that with others. Plus if you’re practicing freely flirting, then you’ll get really good at it and can use some of my holiday tips anyway. Just make sure you are safe. Ask your partner about their STD status, (preferably not in the heat of a sexy moment), use condoms or dental dams, and make sure you have consent!

Find time for intimacy, even if it’s not sex

If all else fails, embrace the coziness of the holidays and enjoy some wine in front of the fire together. Set the mood. The great thing about sex and intimacy is that there are no rules. Talk with your partner or partners about what excites them and what they like. Embrace the extra time off work outside of responsibilities to really take your time with each other and enjoy each other’s energy. 

Now that you’ve got all these hot holiday season sex tips, go forward and have some fun!

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What to Expect in Menopause

The first time I heard about menopause was when I was in grade school. My family was visiting my great aunt who is always theatrical and fun, and I remember seeing her have a hot flash. She got up and walked around fanning herself vigorously and all of the adult women in my family giggled together. Since my aunt is already so theatrical, I thought she was just being silly. I didn’t understand what a hot flash was or how intense it could be.

Menopause is something I suppose I have always known I would experience one day, but other than knowing my baby-making hormones will slow down, I’ll stop getting my period, and I’ll have horrible hot flashes, this period of time seems almost like a caricature or something scary and unknown. So other than feeling uncomfortable and having intense hot flashes, what really happens to our bodies during menopause, and what are all of the side effects?

What is menopause?

First thing’s first: menopause is when your period stops permanently and your estrogen and progesterone levels go down. You are officially in menopause when you haven’t had your period for one year. The time leading up to the last menstrual cycle that we typically think of having hot flashes and other side effects are actually called perimenopause or the menopausal transition. This transition into menopause can happen anywhere from four to seven years before your last period, and after you’re in menopause, many symptoms can last for up to 14 years!!! That’s crazy to me! That means that even after your body has gone through these hormonal changes and you’re officially not producing reproductive hormones, you can still experience these pesky symptoms for up to over a decade. How did no one ever tell me this?!

People typically enter into perimenopause between ages 45 and 55, although it could be a little earlier or a little later. This transition begins when your body naturally starts producing less estrogen and progesterone, which are your reproductive hormones. During this transition, you’ll still get a period and can still become pregnant, although your periods might be irregular due to the hormonal shifts. Other side effects during this transition period include hot flashes, migraines, anxiety or depression, vaginal dryness which can lead to pain during sex, memory loss, and trouble sleeping. 

All about hot flashes

Hot flashes are due to these dropping hormone levels and can come and go at any time. Many women will experience really bad hot flashes at night, waking them up from their sleep. These can be treated with hormones, so you can see your doctor and get help managing those. The fluctuating hormones can also cause mood changes and anxiety or depression. Similarly, you can see your doctor about this and find a treatment plan.

Because your reproductive hormones are significantly decreasing, your vagina no longer produces natural lubrication. This can lead to pain during penetrative sex for many women, and can even lead to a lower desire for sex because of how uncomfortable it is. This can be treated by using a water-based lubricant during sex, and can even be treated with vaginal moisturizers, which are put into the vagina and can be used daily or every other day to treat dryness—not just for sex-related purposes. You can also use estrogen cream or talk with your doctor about taking hormones as well. Your sex life doesn’t have to end just because you’re hormones are shifting!

Some women experience memory loss during perimenopause or feel foggy-headed and confused. Getting enough sleep, staying active, and staying social can help with this, but if memory loss is a big problem for you, talk with your doctor. These symptoms slowly start happening as you approach your last period, and like I said they can start four to seven years before that even happens. Once you do have your last period and are officially in menopause after a year of no periods, these symptoms persist. Just like any other hormonal-related thing, some people are affected more than others. Some women experience minor menopause symptoms and are generally unaffected, while other women experience hot flashes so intense they have to eat dinner outside on a cold November day to cool off (a true story my mom told me).

Talking more about menopause

Regarding menopause, I’m most struck by how no one has ever really talked to me about perimenopause and menopause, and what exactly these symptoms look like. I had no idea these symptoms lasted so long and could carry on way past your last period. From the time I was a kid, I remember hearing all about when I would get my first period and what that would be like, but no one talked with me about this transition as well. I spend a lot of time reading and writing about women’s sexual health, yet I somehow still knew very little on this topic. 

I’m honestly quite overwhelmed thinking about all of these symptoms and anticipating this time in my own life, and I think talking about menopause openly with young women could help make this time seem less scary. Women already have to work to manage their periods and period symptoms as well as their fertility during their whole reproductive life, and then after that time winds down, we then have to manage a whole new set of symptoms. We should talk more openly about our reproductive hormones and what all menopause entails. This not only will empower women as they enter menopause themselves, but will also offer support for those women who are already experiencing it.

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Why are Women Facing All the Emotional Labor?

If you’ve ever worked in any service job, you’ve probably dealt with managing your emotions to keep the customer happy. If you work at a restaurant and you bring food to your table, and the customer says their sandwich came with a sauce on it they didn’t ask for, you need to stay positive and offer a solution to keep the customer also feeling positive so they’ll return to your restaurant. You have to manage your feelings while also managing the emotions of the people around you. This idea of managing emotions, feelings, and expressions is called emotional labor. With Mother’s Day in May, it feels especially right to discuss emotional labor, as women often exercise it most. 

What is emotional labor?

The concept of emotional labor was first fully explored by sociologist Arlie Hochschild in her 1983 book The Managed Heart. When Hochschild was first discussing emotional labor, she mostly explored this concept in regard to work relationships. Other professions that require a great deal of emotional labor are teachers, nurses, flight attendants, or hotel management, just to name a few.

Since Hochschild’s initial writing on the topic, many other sociologists have delved deeper into studying emotional labor. This topic has now been expanded beyond just showing up in work situations. Emotional labor also is present in people’s everyday domestic lives, and unfortunately, women often bear the brunt of emotional labor in many relationships.

Examples of emotional labor for women

The first time I heard the term “emotional labor” and saw a lengthy explanation of it was a Harpers Bazaar article written by Gemma Hartley. In the article, Hartley describes how she asked her husband to hire a house cleaning service for her as a Mother’s Day gift. She wanted her husband to handle it all so she could relax and enjoy a clean home. She didn’t want to have to go through the trouble of looking up cleaning services, comparing prices, and reading reviews—she wanted her husband to do that for her as part of the gift.

Instead, her husband cleaned the bathrooms himself, which is a nice gesture, but Hartley describes that she ended up watching their children and cleaning up some clothing and a box her husband left out in their closet. Her husband says she should have just asked him to put the box away, and as the author expresses, the whole point is she doesn’t want to have to ask. She wanted to feel cared for by her partner in the same way she cares for him.

Bearing the full responsibility of managing a household and making sure everyone is cared for is a lot of work. Updating a calendar with everyone’s schedules, packing lunches for children to take to school, washing and folding laundry, asking your partner to clean up after themselves, asking them a second, third, and fourth time to clean the bathroom even though it’s their responsibility and they shouldn’t need to be reminded. These are all examples of emotional labor women often are responsible for in a home.

The actual, physical work isn’t the emotional labor— all of the little things you do for others that make their lives easier, and the process of asking your partner to also do their work and share in the responsibilities is the emotional labor.

How can we manage emotional labor?

Having conversations with your partner about them pitching in more, being considerate of their feelings, making sure they understand you asking them to help out and do their chores without being asked multiple times is not an attack on their character, is emotional labor. All the while you just do what needs to be done because if you don’t do it, no one will.

So why is it that women often bear a great responsibility for this? There’s the old stereotype that men will go out into the world and work a full-time job while women stay at home and raise the children and look after the house. Maybe some of this is due to old gender norms sticking around, but honestly, I’m not quite sure. But many modern relationships have both partners working full time, so shouldn’t the housework and in-home responsibilities be split equally?

Obviously, every relationship won’t have this exact dynamic, but if you google “emotional labor,” you’ll find article after article citing specific examples of women handling emotional labor in the home. Think about your own upbringing and who was in charge of domestic and emotional care in your home. Think about those responsibilities in your own life now and who takes care of them in your various relationships.

Do what works for you and your relationship

Everyone has to do some sort of emotional labor in their lives, but if you are thanklessly responsible for the majority of this labor in your home, you should feel able to change that.

If you’re feeling like you are bearing the brunt of all of this in-house labor and you’re having to constantly remind your partner to do their share of housework, run errands, etc., then it might be time for a conversation with them about equally distributing work. Yes, you’ll want to be considerate of their feelings when you talk with them, but you are not nagging! You’re simply asking for an equal share of responsibility. And if your partner loves you and cares about you, then they should want to actively share the responsibility. 

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Why Vaginal Hygiene Products are Bad for You

The vagina is an absolutely amazing organ. It can bring life into this world, it helps facilitate your menstrual cycle to let you know your body is working properly, it can be used for sex and pleasure, and it’s totally self-cleaning. And since it’s a self-cleaning organ, that means vaginal hygiene products are totally unnecessary.

Why do vaginal hygiene products exist?

If your vagina is self-cleaning, then why do “feminine hygiene products” like Summer’s Eve and other brands exist? To be perfectly blunt, these products exist to make you think your vagina’s natural discharge and odor is dirty and unnatural so you’ll want to buy feminine hygiene wipes and douches to “cleanse” yourself. Not only do vaginal hygiene products use people’s insecurities and shame regarding their vaginal odor to make money, but these products also are harmful to your vagina’s health and can throw off your vagina’s pH balance, leading to infections or other complications.

The vagina is a self-cleaning organ, using discharge to flush out any bad bacteria. Discharge is one hundred percent normal and essential for your vaginal health. A specific odor likely accompanies this discharge, and for some reason, people are made to feel ashamed of the way their vagina smells. Vaginal odor is also completely normal and healthy. In fact, a person’s vaginal odor will likely change throughout their menstrual cycle, and can also change depending on diet. The only time you should be concerned about your discharge or vaginal odor is if either one changes drastically. If your discharge changes color or consistency and your vaginal odor change significantly, consult your doctor. You could have an infection.

Cleaning your vulva versus vagina

Although the vagina cleans itself, the vulva does not. Your vulva is the folds of skin (labia) on the outside of your body. The best way to clean your vulva is with warm water. Doctors also recommend warm water and mild soap. If you have very sensitive skin, unscented soap would work best, but again, just water is fine as well. Since all you need for a clean vulva and vagina is warm water, the chemicals in vaginal hygiene products can be harmful to users.

Summer’s Eve has a whole host of products such as cleansing wipes, sprays, cleansing wash, body powder, and douche products. It’s important to note that Summer’s Eve is not the only brand that sells these types of products. I am just using them as an example because they are very widely known and easily available. No matter the brand name, these products are unnecessary and can be harmful. 

Most importantly, do not douche

If you gather only one thing from this article, let it be this: do NOT douche. Douching is a method to wash out the vagina using a formula that is sprayed directly into the vagina. Douching products can contain water, vinegar, antiseptics, and fragrances, all of which can be harmful to your vaginal hygiene. People douche to wash out bad bacteria from the vagina and to feel “fresh and clean.” While you are washing out the bad bacteria, you also wash out the good bacteria your vagina needs to maintain a healthy pH balance. Side effects of douching include bacterial vaginosis, Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, pregnancy complications such as ectopic pregnancy, and an increased risk of cervical cancer.

Summer’s Eve website contains no ingredients for any of their products, which I find alarming. Through my research, I found one source that listed some ingredients, some of which include “fragrance” (which the product does not elaborate on what makes up this ingredient), methylisothiazolinone, methylchloroisothiazolinone, cocamidopropyl betaine, and many more. For a full list of ingredients you could of course look at the products in the store. However, if I am using something to clean my vulva or vagina, I would like to be able to pronounce it.

I also found that Summer’s Eve cleansing wipes contain octoxynol-9, which is a spermicide. There is no warning on the packaging that discloses this information. The wipes are not viable forms of contraception, however, it is unclear if the octoxynol-9 is strong enough in the wipes to affect someone’s ability to get pregnant. 

Your vagina’s smell is normal!

This is no joke! Your vagina doesn’t need to be flushed out with water and other chemicals. Your vagina is not smelly or dirty. This harmful narrative that vaginas are dirty and smell bad is incredibly harmful to your physical and mental health. Being told that your vagina is dirty and literally needs to be flushed out with fragrances in order to be clean and desirable harms positive self-image and feeling good in one’s body. I understand wanting to feel clean or wanting to “freshen up” before a sexual encounter, but as mentioned above, all you need is water for that. No chemicals or artificial scents are necessary.

I’m here to tell you that the messages sold to us by these hygiene companies are lies. There is science to prove how harmful these products are and to reiterate that vaginal odor is normal and healthy! Your vagina is not supposed to smell like flowers or baby powder. You are not a flower or a baby. Your vagina should smell like vagina! 

 

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Sustainable Spring Cleaning Tips

It’s that time of year again—spring cleaning! The sun begins to shine, we hear birds begin to chirp, everything that’s been frozen over is beginning to come back to life, and so do we! With this newfound zest for life in the spring, we want to clean up our homes and do it the right way. In this day and age, long gone are the days of using smelly and slightly toxic cleaning supplies. We’ve got options, honey. Here are some ways to do your spring cleaning the sustainable way.

1. Donate your old stuff during spring cleaning

If you have yet to read Marie Kondo’s book “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up,” I suggest you begin here. Kondo wrote this book many years ago, and it’s regained popularity the last several years with the premiere of her Netflix show, which I also recommend. Kondo offers a foolproof method for cleaning out your entire home in a way that ensures you won’t have to do a deep-tidying ever again.

After going through your belongings and deciding what you’re ready to part with, consider donating. You could donate old clothes to a local women’s shelter, Goodwill, or even a friend. If you have any beauty, haircare, or menstrual products, consider donating those as well because those are also needed at shelters. Not only is donating used items thoughtful, but it’s also better for the environment than throwing away your clothing for it to end up in a landfill.

2. Use eco-friendly chemicals in your cleaning products

Let’s be real – everything has chemicals in it. We just want to make sure that the chemicals we are spray and scrubbing all over our home are not bad for us. Brands such as Seventh Generation and Mrs. Meyer’s make high-quality cleaning products that smell good and are safe for your home. Other brands that are eco-friendly even have biodegradable packaging. Sure, these might cost a bit more than the store brand cleaner, but the environmental impact of eco-friendly cleaning supplies is worth the cost if you ask me.

3. Switch to package-free, reusable products

Besides using eco-friendly products for your spring cleaning, there are also many clever products that are reusable or package-free. Consider swapping out some products in your home and see how much waste you save. Switch to reusable sandwich bags, a reusable trash liner, wool balls instead of dryer sheets, reusable Swiffer covers, refillable surface cleaner—the list goes on and on. Again, these items might be a bit pricier, but they last a long time and have little to no packing. It’s a win-win.

4. Use essential oils and soy candles

Although burning a candle in your home can put the cherry on top of a freshly cleaned space, traditional candles use chemicals that can release soot into your space or even stain your walls over time. Soy candles are better for the environment, burn longer, and are made from soy, which is a renewable resource. Essential oils can also help fill your home with a fresh scent, and those are made from plants and are safe. Essential oils can also be used in homemade cleaning products and can be used for light cleaning as well as being diffused. Some essential oils are not safe for animals, so if you have pets, do a little research first before bringing those into your home.

Now go forth and spring clean your space the sustainable and safe way!

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March is Endometriosis Awareness Month

It’s good to be educated about our bodies every month of the year, but with Endometriosis Awareness Month observed in March, it’s an excellent time to learn about this condition that up to 10 percent of people with uteruses have—endometriosis.

What is endometriosis?

Endometriosis is when the tissue that lines your uterus grows outside of your uterus as well. This tissue is called the endometrium. During your menstrual cycle, the endometrium tissue builds up, sheds if you have no fertilized eggs, then leaves your body through your period. When this tissue grows outside of the uterus, it still builds up as part of your menstrual cycle, but then it has nowhere to shed and exit the body. Endometriosis develops over time, usually several years after your first period, and affects up to 10 percent of people with uteruses ages 25-40.

What are the symptoms?

Since everyone’s bodies are so different, endometriosis symptoms can be mild to severe and vary for everyone depending on their body. The severity of your symptoms does not indicate the severity of the actual tissue buildup. This tissue can grow on your ovaries, bowel, and pelvis, and comes with a wide variety of symptoms. Because this tissue is building up and isn’t shedding, it can become increasingly painful over time. The most common endometriosis symptom is pelvic pain and cramps. This pain and cramping hit you in the same areas you might feel period cramps, but it’s much more intense. This cramping can be just during your period, but for some people, there’s constant pelvic pain. These cramps aren’t like normal period cramps. Some people experience cramps so intense they can’t go to work or function normally.

In addition to painful periods, other symptoms include pain during or after sexual intercourse, pain with bowel movements or peeing, as well as diarrhea, constipation, and bloating, heavy bleeding during your period, or bleeding between periods, and in some cases, infertility. About 30 to 40 percent of people with endometriosis experience fertility issues. These issues can be discussed with your doctor, and there are options to maximize your fertility with endometriosis.

Because the tissue can grow in several places in your body, it can affect these places in different ways. Another symptom is developing scars on your ovaries and pelvis, as well as adhesions or tissues growing so that they bind your organs together. Because the symptoms are so general, endometriosis can be hard to diagnose initially. People can be misdiagnosed with Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, ovarian cysts, or even Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

Are there treatment options?

Although endometriosis is not curable, there are several different treatment options. The growth of your endometrium outside of the womb is due to varying levels of estrogen in your body. Your changing hormones during your menstrual cycle that promote the growth and shedding of your uterine lining are the exact hormones promoting the growth of this tissue as well. Remember, the only difference is this tissue has nowhere to go once it’s grown. Hormone therapy or hormonal contraception can be used as an effective treatment. Hormonal birth control pills are a popular treatment for endometriosis because they shut down ovulation. If you’re not ovulating, your uterine lining is not building up to shed, so it should stop the growth of this tissue outside of the uterus as well. Any hormones that help stop menstruation could help treat endometriosis. Gonadotropin-releasing hormone agonists and antagonists can be used to treat endometriosis as well. GnRH is used to essentially create early menopause by stopping the production of estrogen in the body. Because it puts you in an early menopause, side effects would include vaginal dryness and hot flashes. This treatment sounds intense, and I’d guess it would likely be used for severe cases. Danazol is another medication that can stop your period and help stop the growth of endometrium tissue. These treatment options can help with pain and help stop tissue growth, but they don’t necessarily help with fertility.

If you are wanting to get pregnant or have a severe case of endometriosis and hormones haven’t helped, surgery is another option. During the surgery, the excess tissue growing outside of the uterus is removed. The surgery is called laparoscopy, uses lasers, and is minimally invasive. Again, this is the only treatment option that can help improve fertility. In extremely severe cases, and if you are not wanting to get pregnant, you could also have a total hysterectomy. This is a surgery to remove your uterus and cervix. This is usually only recommended for severe cases or for someone who knows they do not want to get pregnant. Once your uterus and cervix are removed, you won’t be able to get pregnant because your uterus will be gone.

What is the cause of endometriosis?

The exact cause of endometriosis is not known, which can be frustrating. One theory is that during menstruation the blood flows back into the fallopian tubes, causing build-up, while another theory suggests that hormones transform cells outside of the uterus into ones similar to those inside the uterus, confusing the body. If you experience any of the symptoms listed above, or even just have incredibly painful periods, go see your gynecologist. They will likely do a physical exam and an ultrasound to see what your uterine tissue looks like. Once diagnosed, your doctor will discuss the severity of your case with you. If left untreated, endometriosis can get worse over time because of the continuation of tissue building up. Once your doctor tells you the severity (minimal, mild, moderate, or severe) you can work together to discuss treatment options. Although endometriosis isn’t curable, you can still live a relatively pain-free life with it. If you are planning on having a family and want to maintain your fertility, be sure to mention that to your doctor.

If you suspect you have endometriosis or have incredibly painful periods, speak up and talk to your doctor about it. Intense period pain isn’t normal or something you should live with! It can indicate there’s a deeper issue going on. Talk with your doctor to find a solution.

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