Over 50% of Americans have oral herpes, and one in every six people has genital herpes. Herpes is incredibly common, so why aren’t we talking about it like it’s normal? There is a huge stigma that comes with herpes and other sexually transmitted infections in general. The truth is herpes is fairly common, and it’s also not a big deal. It’s just a skin condition.

What is herpes?

Herpes is a viral infection that once you get it, it stays in your body forever, although there are ways to manage it. There are two types of herpes, HSV-1 and HSV-2. HSV-1 is also known as oral herpes or cold sores, and this can spread from any sort of contact with someone. It doesn’t have to be spread sexually. Oral herpes presents itself as cold sores, and these can be spread from person to person quite easily. You could even get oral herpes as a child from a relative giving you a peck on the lips. 

HSV-2, or genital herpes, is spread through sexual contact. Genital herpes is spread through oral, vaginal, or anal sex. It is possible to get HSV-1 on your genitals and HSV-2 on your mouth, but generally speaking, they thrive in their designated area of the body. If you have a cold sore and give someone oral sex, you could spread oral herpes to their genitals, for example. 

How do you test for herpes?

You can be infected with herpes and show no symptoms for years, so it’s really hard to know when exactly you got infected. The only true way to know if you have herpes is to get tested once you already have symptoms. If you’ve ever gotten regular STD testing done, you might notice that they don’t test for herpes as part of the regular screening. This is because herpes testing is incredibly inaccurate if you don’t have symptoms. 

Herpes can be tested for without symptoms through a blood test, but false positives are incredibly common. When I first learned this, it seemed bonkers to me! I should be able to get tested and know if I have it or not, right? Why is testing for herpes so complicated but I can get a clear answer for a test for other STDs even without symptoms? Part of the reason false positives are so common is that the herpes blood test just tests for HSV in your body. It doesn’t distinguish if you have HSV-1 or HSV-2. Because oral herpes or cold sores are so incredibly common, most people have been exposed to HSV-1, even if they’ve never shown symptoms. 

So if you got a blood test and tested positive, it’s quite possible it just shows you’ve been exposed to cold sores before, but there’s no way to know for sure if the test is detecting HSV-1 or 2. Ugh! Because herpes is so stigmatized and the possibility of having an STD is very anxiety-inducing for most people, doctors don’t recommend testing for herpes unless you have symptoms. You also cannot complete at-home testing for herpes as you can with some other STDs.

What are the common herpes symptoms?

Symptoms of genital herpes include blisters around your genital area or your inner thighs. These blisters are often itchy and painful and turn into sores. You can also experience flu-like symptoms like aches, pains and fever if you have HSV-2. If you have sores, go to your doctor and they’ll swab one of the sores and test that for an accurate reading. If you don’t have symptoms, there is nothing to treat anyhow because even if you have the virus, it will be in your body forever.

How is herpes spread?

Herpes is a little tricky though because you could be asymptomatic and still spread the virus to someone else. This is called asymptomatic shedding. You could have herpes, but not know it because you have no symptoms, and have oral, vaginal, or anal sex with someone and spread the virus to them without even knowing. Using condoms and dental dams can help prevent this from spreading, but this is why herpes is so common. I wonder though if you don’t have symptoms, and your partner never has symptoms, then does it even matter that much? Again, there’s nothing to treat if you don’t have symptoms.

What is a herpes outbreak?

If you do have symptoms and test positive for genital herpes, there are some things you can do. Most people that have genital herpes experience only several outbreaks throughout their life. Although the virus isn’t curable, you won’t have constant symptoms and it’s not detrimental to your health or sex life in any way. An outbreak is when the sores and other symptoms show up. 

For most people, this first outbreak occurs 2-20 days after your first exposure, but you might not show symptoms for years so it’s hard to know. The first outbreak is the worst and lasts from 2-4 weeks. You can take anti-viral medication and use home remedies to treat the discomfort. The anti-viral medication can make your outbreak shorter and also can be taken regularly to severely lower your chances of spreading herpes to a partner. You should wait until your outbreak clears, however, to engage in sexual activity. 

How can we end the stigma of herpes?

When you break it down, herpes is just a skin condition. Yes, it can be spread sexually, but oral herpes isn’t spread that way. Genital herpes gets such a stigma attached to it because it is a sexually transmitted infection, but it is incredibly common and won’t affect your overall health or wellbeing. People that have herpes have completely normal, unaffected sex lives. Just refrain from sex during an outbreak, talk to your doctor about anti-viral meds to prevent it from shedding when you’re asymptomatic and be open with your partners so they can fully consent to sexual activity with you.

It’s important to keep up with your sexual well-being and get tested after each new sexual partner, or every 6 to 12 months but you don’t need to worry about herpes until and unless you show symptoms. You’ll make yourself sick with worry wondering if you have it. Since it truly is just a skin condition, you don’t need to worry too much about it until you have something on your skin to treat. The blood tests are so inaccurate that it isn’t recommended to get those done anyway. There are plenty of other STDs you can get blood tests for, so focus on those as part of your sexual well-being and get tested for herpes only if you show symptoms. 

Picture it: You’ve been having a lot of sex recently (yay you!), and are loving it. After a week or so of fun with your sex partner, you feel a little discomfort when you pee. Could it be? No, it couldn’t be … but wait, it is! It’s a UTI! You realize you forgot to pee after sex every time, and all the sex recently has caused a urinary tract infection. You’ve had many UTIs before, so you recognize the telltale symptoms and know you need meds ASAP, but don’t want to wait to schedule an appointment with your doctor. You know what it is, you just need some meds to feel better. Enter Wisp telehealth.

What is Wisp telehealth?

Wisp is a website where you can meet with a doctor, get a prescription, and get treated for your sexual wellness needs from the comfort of your own home. Wisp has several doctors partnering with the site, and you would have a telehealth consultation with one of them via webcam to describe your symptoms and receive treatment. 

What treatments can I receive?

Wisp offers birth control, emergency contraception, cold sore treatment, herpes treatment, treatment for bacterial vaginosis, yeast infections, UTIs, and medication to delay your period. Although it is a little unclear from their website, it seems you purchase unlimited consultations with “Wispcare,” which is a subscription for $10 a month, or pay a one-time fee of $39 for a single consultation. After choosing the best option for your needs, you then consult with the doctor and get prescribed a treatment. It says that they accept HSA (Health Spending Account) and FSA (Flexible Savings Account) for payment, but it’s unclear without making an order if they accept insurance. 

I looked at the treatments for UTIs, and Wisp telehealth has several options for recurring meds like probiotics to be shipped to you each month, or one-time treatments like antibiotics. You can order your medication to your home, or pick it up later that day at a pharmacy. Although this seems like a great option for getting medication if you already know your symptoms well, I am still a little skeptical. 

What is the cost for Wisp treatments?

When looking to check out for antibiotics for a UTI, there were three or four prompts offering me other medications or products to buy, unrelated to what I needed meds for. It also is $65 for an antibiotic for a UTI, which is pricey. If you were to go to your doctor on insurance, the cost of the medication could be mostly covered with insurance. Again, perhaps they accept insurance, but it’s unclear without making an actual purchase, and there’s no information on their website about payment options other than accepting HSA and FSA. 

This could be a great option if you just want treatment for a condition you’ve had before (like a recurring UTI) without going to the doctor. They also offer a Symptoms Quiz if you are unsure what exactly is bothering you down there. Wisp could be a cheaper option if you don’t have insurance and pay out-of-pocket, as doctor’s visits without insurance can get expensive. I think it could work in a pinch, but I’m not sure if it’s worth it if you have the time and insurance coverage to go to your doctor IRL. 

I recently saw a commercial that stopped me in my tracks! This doesn’t happen often, or ever, really. I heard the woman on my television say, “Flex Disc even empties itself out while you pee.” Excuse me?! Sure, I’ve heard of menstrual discs before. Even contemplated trying them. But a menstrual disc that empties itself out while I go to the bathroom? That was a novel concept to me! I had to learn more. And then of course share that knowledge with you all. [Photo Credit: Amazon/Hello Giggles]

What is the flex disc?

Flex Disc is a single-use menstrual disc meant to be worn for up to 12 hours. Flex Disc is made from a body-safe material, although the website doesn’t specify what that is. This disc is inserted into the vaginal canal and sits at the base of the cervix in the vaginal fornix. The disc collects your period blood here and leaves your vaginal canal open. 

The website mentions several times and even encourages Flex users to enjoy mess-free period sex while the disk is inserted. I love that! Since the disc sits at the opening of the cervix, the vaginal canal is wide open for business. Flex Disc users have also reported they’ve experienced less cramping since switching to the disc, and the disc produces 60% less waste than other disposable menstrual products. 

How does the flex disc work?

To insert, you pinch the disc between your fingers so it is as long and thin as possible. You insert the disc into the vagina, and when you can no longer keep pinching, release the pinch and push it into place using either a thumb or pointer finger. They also suggest doing some Kegels or squats once it’s in place to make sure the disc is situated. 

You can keep the disc in for up to 12 hours, and at the end of the day, or whenever you’re ready to change it, you insert a pointer finger to take it out. With clean hands, grab onto the edge of the disc, and pull it out of the vagina, keeping it as flat as possible to avoid spilling blood. You empty the blood into the toilet, then throw the disc away. Don’t reuse the disc once you take it out! If you have a particularly heavy period, Flex suggests emptying the disc out throughout the day, then inserting a new one. And here comes the good part! The disc can empty itself while you use the bathroom. 

How does it empty itself?

Essentially, the natural muscle tension of our body helps hold the disc in place as we’re living our life throughout the day. When you sit on the toilet, the muscles relax a bit. If you “bear down” slightly, the disc can somewhat pop out of place, emptying a bit of blood while you empty your bladder. With clean hands, use your thumb or pointer finger to situate the disc back into place just as you did when you first inserted it, then carry on with your day. 

This company stands out

The fact can the disc can naturally empty itself BLEW MY MIND! Our bodies are so cool. If disposable period products aren’t your jam, Flex does have a menstrual cup available as well. I’ve seen other menstrual discs on the market, but the period and sex-positivity that Flex has really stood out to me. They mention period sex several times on their website and use inclusive language to make it clear that this product is for anyone who has a vagina and menstruates. Check them out at flexfits.com

I love talking about birth control. If you’ve ever talked to me for an extended period of time, or heck, read any of these blogs on here, you know I love talking about birth control options. The pill, the patch, the shot, the ring, condoms, IUDs – the list goes on and on! It’s one of my favorite topics. Despite my passion for the pill (and other contraceptive methods), I found myself clueless recently when I realized I didn’t know what to do if I miss a birth control pill myself!

I’ve been on the combination hormonal pill (estrogen and progestin) for nearly a decade. During that time, I’ve never missed a pill. (Thank you for the applause!) Life got extra stressful recently and I was extra distracted because I opened up my pill pack one Friday afternoon to see Thursday’s pill staring me in the face. Since I had literally never missed a dose, I had no idea what to do. I immediately called my gynecologist and got some answers.

How does hormonal birth control work?

In order for the hormonal birth control pill to be most effective, you have to take it at the same time every day. The pill works in two ways: it thickens your cervical mucus so if sperm were to get into the womb, no implantation would occur. It also shuts down ovulation. This is the big one with the pill. If you’re not ovulating, no eggs are being released to be fertilized. If you miss a dose, this can throw off the delicate balance of hormones needed for ovulation to be shut down. This is why some people get pregnant immediately after coming off the pill. Of course, everyone’s body is different, but even one missed dose, depending on the timing, can cause problems. 

I called my gynecologist and asked to speak with a nurse. I told her I had forgotten to take yesterday’s pill, so I was 24 hours late on that dose. She said since I had only missed one pill this month, I could just take it with today’s pill, taking two pills at once. Since I only missed one pill in my monthly cycle, and I took it as soon as I remembered, I would still be protected contraceptive-wise. She did say that it’s possible I might have some breakthrough bleeding, or the length of my menstrual cycle at the end of my pill pack could be slightly different than normal, but I did not need to use any backup methods of birth control because I had only missed one pill. 

Protection if you miss a birth control pill

If I had missed more than one pill that month, I would not be protected contraceptive-wise and would need to use another form of birth control, such as condoms. If you miss more than one pill in a cycle, it throws off the process of stopping ovulation. If you miss more than one pill in a cycle, take your missed pill as soon as you remember, even if you have to take two pills in one day. Use condoms in addition to your pill until you have taken active pills for seven days in a row. You need active pills for seven days to reset your cycle. It’s also recommended to take emergency contraception such as the Plan B pill if you’ve had unprotected sex within the last five days if missing that second pill. If you have fewer than seven active pills left in your pack, take what’s left and skip the placebo pills to start your next pack early. 

In addition to not being protected against unwanted pregnancy during this time, you might also notice spotting. Your next menstrual cycle might be slightly longer or shorter than usual as well.

If you’re on a progestin-only pill, the protocol is slightly different. If you take your progestin-only pill anywhere between three and 12 hours late, then you’re late on your dose. Take the pill as soon as you remember, even if that means taking two pills in one day. It’s also recommended to use emergency contraception if you’ve had unprotected sex within the last five days of missing a pill. Use condoms in addition to taking your pill until you’ve taken your pill on time for two days in a row. Then your cycle is back on track. 

Backup methods when you miss a birth control pill

If you ever miss a pill and you’re unsure, call your gynecologist and ask to speak to a nurse. If you don’t have a gynecologist, call Planned Parenthood, and they can tell you what to do as well. Although this was my first missed pill in nearly a decade, people miss doses of their birth control all the time. Like I said earlier, the pill works best if you take it at the same time every day, but stuff happens and sometimes you forget. Take your missed pill as soon as you remember, and use a backup method of birth control if you missed more than one pill during your cycle. 

Trying a different birth control option

If you find that you’re missing pills frequently, consider a different form of birth control. Talk to your doctor to discuss what options are best for you. Birth control such as the ring or an IUD might be a good option since you don’t have to “take it” every day. If you love the pill, but find you keep missing doses, you can also have some strategies to help you remember to take it on time. You could set an alarm on your phone that goes off every day to remind you. You could also take it at a time of day when you know you’ll be doing the same thing, for example, if you eat lunch every day at the same time, take it with your lunch. Even if you’re not sexually active, taking the pill on time every day helps keep your hormones regulated and feeling good. When in doubt, call your gynecologist and ask for help.

A key component to great sex is communication. Thinking about what you want to do, will do, and won’t do, is a great way to set sexual boundaries for yourself and carry that through with sexual encounters with a partner. Talking about sex can sometimes be a little scary. We are socialized to never talk about sex, to keep our sexual desires a secret, and talking about sex out loud is taboo. I’m here to help you normalize talking about your desires, baby! If you can’t talk about what you want with a partner, then how do you expect to get what you want in bed?

What is a Want, Will, Won’t List?

A great tool for bringing up what you desire with a partner is a Want, Will, Won’t List. This is essentially a list of intimate and sexual activities that you can categorize as something you want to do or have done to you, something you will do or have done to you if your partner is into it, and something you won’t do or have done to you. You can make up the list on your own if you want, or you can find one online. 

How to write your Want, Will, Won’t List

The Want, Will, Won’t List can be filled out by hand, or there are some that you and your partner fill out online, then it only shows you the acts that overlap between you and your partner. That way you’ll only see the things that both of you want or will do. Having a list like this can be fun to help you and your partner think of sexy things to do together that you’ve maybe never considered. It’s also fun to fill out just for yourself as a tool to reflect on what you desire. You might also find that in filling out the list, some things don’t sound appealing at all, or some things are meant to stay just as fantasies. That’s great too. Every bit of information you discover about your desire will lead to a better sex life. 

Discussing your Want, Will, Won’t List

Once you and your partner or partners fill out the list, it’s time to discuss! I recommend discussing your desires separate from sexy time. You could talk about your list sometime when you’re just hanging out, or at the beginning of a date before you start hooking up. In the heat of the moment, it can be hard to clearly state what you are or aren’t into. Talking about what you want to do sexually with each other can also be a bit of foreplay, which is always fun.  

If you find yourself feeling nervous in discussing the results of the list, having one that generates the overlap between you and your partner can make it a little easier. That way, you’ll both only be talking about sexy scenarios that you’re both interested in. Getting better at communicating about sex outside of the bedroom will help make communicating about sex in the bedroom easier too. 

So what are some examples? 

Want: 

  • I want to give and receive oral sex
  • I want to cuddle after sex
  • I want to make out for a long time before getting naked

Will: 

  • I will use sex toys on my partner
  • I will watch a sexy video with my partner
  • I will explore anal play with my partner

Won’t: 

  • I won’t have vaginal or anal sex without a condom
  • I won’t have anything put inside of me without being asked first – fingers, toys, body parts, etc
  • I won’t have penetrative sex without foreplay

Usually, the lists you find online are much more extensive, but your list can include anything you can think of in a sexy situation. If you Google “Want, Will, Won’t List,” you’ll find plenty you can download and fill out. Have fun!

If you take hormonal birth control, you probably spent hours researching the possible side effects that come with starting the pill. You’ve probably heard horror stories of women having adverse side effects, and you probably asked your doctor a bunch of questions before you started taking the pill to be sure it was the right birth control for you. I’ve been taking the hormonal birth control pill for years, and despite knowing all of the possible side effects before starting, I realized I only recall hearing a few side effects for when you stop taking the pill. A lot of people start taking the pill when they’re teenagers or young adults, so it’s hard to imagine a time in the future where you’ll be stopping birth control, but the side effects of coming off the pill are important to know about as well.

Most people stop taking the pill when they want to become pregnant, but some people come off the pill sooner to try a different type of birth control if their body didn’t react well to the pill. Just like how not all people on the pill experience all of the side effects of starting hormonal birth control, not everyone going off the pill will experience all of the side effects coming off the hormonal birth control. If you’re considering coming off the pill, however, here are some of the side effects you might experience.

1. Withdrawal bleed after stopping birth control

If you take the pill with three weeks of active pills and one week of placebo pills, you’ve already experienced a withdrawal bleed. This acts as your period during your cycle, but since hormonal birth control shuts down ovulation, you’re really experiencing a withdrawal bleed from the steady flow of hormones. When you are stopping birth control, you will have a week-long withdrawal bleed just like you would if you were taking your pills how you normally do.

2. You could get pregnant right away

Doctors say it takes people anywhere from zero to six months to have ovulation return and their cycle to regulate itself without the pill. Every person’s body is different and it is possible to get pregnant right away when you quit the pill. The hormones in the pill will leave your system within a few days of stopping the pill, but it might take your body a little longer to begin regulating your cycle with your natural hormones again. Your body could also begin its natural cycle right away, leading to pregnancy if you have unprotected sex.

Because it’s impossible to know specifically when you’ll begin ovulating again, use condoms or another form of birth control right away if you are not wanting to get pregnant. For some people though, it may take between three to six months to begin ovulating again, so if you are quitting the pill to get pregnant, doctors recommend giving yourself a few months to have your body adjust so you can get pregnant when you are ready.

3. Cramps and discharge from ovulating

Once you quit the pill you’ll begin ovulating again so you might experience cramps on one side of your body during your cycle. These cramps are from your body ovulating and getting ready to release an egg. Now that you’re ovulating again, you’ll also notice a change in your vaginal discharge. Discharge during ovulation is stringy and clear. Since the pill shuts down ovulation, you likely haven’t seen this particular discharge in a while, but don’t worry, it’s normal and a sign that you are ovulating again.

4. Breakouts, cramps, mood swings, and a heavier period

If you experienced bad breakouts, cramps, and mood swings leading up to your period before you started the pill, you might have those symptoms again. If you experience these symptoms when coming off the pill and you didn’t have these pre-pill, your body should adjust after about three months and these symptoms should level out, becoming less harsh after a few months. Additionally, your period will likely be heavier after you quit the pill. The pill uses hormones to regulate your cycle, so once you come off the pill, your period might return to how heavy it was pre-pill. People’s cycles change over time though, so your period will likely level out to a “normal” flow after a few months as well.

5. Increased libido from stopping birth control

Some people report experiencing an increased libido after coming off the pill. During your cycle, you will feel the most frisky when you are ovulating. This is your body’s way of saying, “We’re the most fertile we’ll be all month, let’s make a baby!” Since ovulation is shut down when you’re on the pill, you of course can still feel frisky, but some people report having an increased sex drive once they are ovulating again. For some people, however, there is not a noticeable difference. Conversely, some people report feeling less sexy after coming off birth control because they no longer feel a sense of ease being protected from unwanted pregnancy.

6. Change in weight and breast size

Some people notice their breasts shrink a little when they stop taking the pill. This has to do with the hormones from the pill leaving your body and your natural hormones regulating your cycle again. If you didn’t notice a change in breast size when you started the pill, however, you likely won’t notice a change when you stop the pill.

Some people also report losing a bit of weight when they quit the pill. This isn’t super common either, but when it does happen it is due to a loss of water weight. The progesterone-only pill can cause people to retain water, which can cause a bit of weight gain. If you’re on a progesterone-only pill, you’ll lose this water weight when you come off the pill.

7. Hair loss

Admittedly, this is the only side effect I had never heard of, and this is the only one that scared me when I first read about it. This side effect isn’t very common, and when it is present it’s not as scary as it sounds! If you have polycystic ovary syndrome or some other condition that caused hair loss before starting the pill, you might experience hair loss again when coming off it.

If you don’t have a condition that affected hair loss prior to the pill, you likely won’t experience a noticeable amount of hair loss, if any. If you do experience hair loss, though, this should stop within six months of quitting the pill. This is due to a temporary condition called telogen effluvium, which causes your hair to shed. In most cases where hair loss is present after quitting the pill, however, it is usually due to stress, diet, or some other factor and not the pill, so don’t worry too much about this side effect if you’re considering quitting the pill.

If you’re considering coming off the pill, the biggest things to keep in mind are that you can get pregnant right away and that the levels of side effects you experience will vary depending on you and your body. You might not experience all of the side effects, and the ones you do experience will likely have varying levels compared to someone else you know. When you come off the pill, your body adjusts from being regulated with synthetic estrogen and progesterone to being regulated with those hormones naturally in your own body. This does require a bit of time to adjust, so know that for the first few months at least, your cycle and body will likely not feel back to “normal.” If after six months you are still experiencing severe side effects or your period hasn’t returned to normal, see your doctor.

If you’ve ever had a period, you know all of the annoyances that can come along with it. Cramps, irritability, and ruined underwear are just some of the issues you might deal with when managing your period. Drastic changes to your skin during your menstrual cycle might also be something you struggle with. Most people who get their period experience hormonal acne, or period skin, right before or during their period week, but your skin is constantly changing throughout your menstrual cycle.

Why do hormones affect my skin?

Right before or during your period you might notice your skin is more dry, oily, sensitive, and broken out than usual. These changes in your skin are due to your changing hormones during your menstrual cycle. During your cycle, your levels of estrogen and progesterone fluctuate, and it just so happens that these two hormones greatly affect your skin. 

Estrogen is basically responsible for all things radiant and lovely in your skin. Estrogen affects your skin’s hydration, collagen production, skin thickness, skin’s ability to heal, and the effectiveness of your skin as a barrier. Progesterone, which is the other dominant hormone during your menstrual cycle, is responsible for triggering breakouts. Progesterone closes up the skin’s pores and causes a build-up of sebum to be trapped under your skin. Sebum is an oily substance produced by your sebaceous glands, which start making oil during puberty.

What type of period skin changes should I expect?

During the first week or so of your menstrual cycle, estrogen levels are fairly low. Because of estrogen’s effect on retaining moisture in the skin, your skin might feel a little dry or dull during this period. Other than that though, your skin shouldn’t be too irritated and should be looking and feeling pretty good. The next phase of your cycle, the follicular phase, occurs between days 10 and 16 in your cycle. During the follicular phase, estrogen and testosterone levels rise. Your skin will look its best during this phase because of the increased hormone levels. Your estrogen increases during this time because your body is preparing for ovulation. The next phase is ovulation, which occurs halfway through your menstrual cycle, which for most people is around day 14 of the cycle. During ovulation, your estrogen and testosterone levels begin to drop, and your skin will continue to look and feel healthy for a few days as your progesterone levels increase. The final phase of your cycle is the luteal phase, which is right before and during your period. During this phase, your progesterone levels are up, which, as we learned earlier, traps oil in your pores. Your skin will be at its oiliest and most broken out during this phase. 

Some people also report having increased skin sensitivity right before and during a period. This sensitivity is due to prostaglandins, which are chemicals that are released as your uterine lining sheds. Prostaglandins cause inflammation throughout the body in general, which we can feel the effects of on our skin during this time. 

What period skin care tips should I follow?

So what are some things you can do to manage your ever-changing skin during your monthly cycle? Experts recommend always washing your face and not sleeping with makeup on. Wash your face twice a day and be sure to moisturize, especially during the beginning period of your cycle when your skin is clear but dry. As your skin gets more oily, avoid oil-based moisturizers, wear your hair back off your face more, change your pillowcase more frequently, and avoid touching your face. Experts also say to use a gentle cleanser on your skin during the times when it is most irritated. Exfoliating or using harsh face washes will only inflame your face more, so save those for the beginning of your cycle.

Maintaining a balanced diet can also help your skin stay clear. Every article I’ve read as research recommended limiting sugar and caffeine to help keep your skin clear, which can be so hard during your period when you are craving both of those things. Flo.com has a great article with specific skincare tips for each phase of your cycle.

Are there other options for treatment?

If your skin really suffers during your period, talk to your doctor. Hormonal birth control is often prescribed to treat hormonal acne, but there are other options as well. Hormonal birth control contains varying levels of estrogen and progesterone and shuts down ovulation, so the pills can help regulate your hormone levels and manage your acne.

Now that you know exactly what’s going on with your skin each month, you should be better prepared to combat breakouts and treat your skin well. Good luck!

Living with frequent migraines can cause many intense symptoms such as light and sound sensitivity, nausea, and even seeing an aura of light around your eyes. If you experience an aura during migraines, you’ll often see flashing lights, zigzags of light, or even blurry lights in your peripheral vision. If you are someone who is prone to migraines, another risk factor can be hormonal birth control pills. Migraines and hormones are more closely related than most of us may realize. 

How are migraines and hormones related?

Hormonal birth control pills use combinations of the hormones estrogen and progesterone to help prevent pregnancy. Changing levels of estrogen that occur naturally in our bodies can often trigger migraines. Have you ever experienced a headache in the days leading up to your period? That’s because your estrogen levels drop during this time, triggering headaches or migraines. Because headaches and migraines can be triggered this way, some doctors prescribe birth control pills to patients to treat headaches. For others, this is just an extra perk of taking the combination pill for other reasons. In some cases though, it can increase the risk of stroke and other serious health complications to take the combination (estrogen and progesterone) pill.

If you get migraines regularly and particularly get migraines accompanied by an aura, ask your doctor about your birth control options. Typically, doctors don’t recommend people taking the pill with estrogen in it if they also get auras with their migraines, or if they have a family history of migraine or blood clots. If you have this history, the estrogen in the pill could increase your risk of stroke, deep vein thrombosis, also known as blood clots, or cardiovascular disease. 

Alternate birth control options

So what do you do if you are someone who wants to take birth control and also has a history of migraine auras? First, speak with your doctor about it. It’s important to be transparent with your doctor about your health history when getting new medication anyway, but especially mention if you have a history of migraines. In addition to the combination pill, there is also a pill with just progesterone that could work for someone with migraines. There are also non-hormonal birth control options like condoms or the copper IUD. If you’re someone with no history of migraines, but you start having migraines after starting hormonal birth control, go chat with your doctor about it immediately. It’s important to mention all of these symptoms and things you notice in your body so you can be as healthy as possible.

Talking to your doctor about migraines and hormones

I first learned that migraine auras plus birth control pills can be dangerous over the summer when a co-worker of mine told me she needed to go see her doctor because she was starting to get bad migraines and was on the combination pill. Despite being on the pill myself for many years, I had never heard of this! My doctor never told me about the dangers of migraines and the pill. This just shows the importance of talking about women’s health out loud and without shame! Ask your doctor questions, even if they seem silly. Talk to your friends about what birth control they are taking if you are considering it. Talk to them about other health issues. It’s normal to talk openly about all this stuff because it not only keeps us more informed, but it also keeps us healthier and prevents serious complications in the future.

If you know me and have spent more than an hour of your life around me, you know I love talking about sex. If we’re good friends that share parts of our lives with each other, I probably have asked you “How’s your sex life?” or “What’s your relationship with sex and your sexuality right now?” as casually as I’ve asked you how your job is going. That’s because practicing sex positivity is super important to me!

I don’t necessarily mean I love talking about sex in a graphic, “give me every detail of your sex life and I’ll give you mine,” kind of way, but also, if you feel inclined to share, I’ll probably listen. I am incredibly passionate about sex education and normalizing talking about sex so we can take away the cultural shame and stigma surrounding it. I am sex-positive, baby!

What is sex positivity?

Since people’s relationship to sex is so diverse and personal, it’s hard to pin down one, all-encompassing definition for sex-positivity. In general, though, sex positivity is having a positive, open attitude around sex. People who are sex-positive view consensual sex as a healthy part of life that can be openly discussed without shame or awkwardness. It’s also important to point out that you don’t have to have sex to be sex-positive. You can have a positive, open attitude around sex without it being a part of your life.

Stigmas around sex

We live in a sex-negative culture, meaning we receive all sorts of negative messaging surrounding sex that creates shame and stigma. How often have you heard a woman or even teenage girl referred to as a slut for being sexually active? Sex negativity! The idea that “normal” sex only exists within heterosexual marriage and all other sex is taboo or wrong? Sex negativity! Masturbation is dirty and sad? Sex negativity!!! Despite being bombarded with oversexualized women in magazines and on television, and despite seeing graphic sex scenes in movies, we still have a bunch of shame around sex as a culture. Sex positivity is all about breaking up that shame and learning that sex is a natural part of life that can be discussed openly without judgment.

When was the term created?

The term sex-positive has actually been around since the 1920s when Austrian psychoanalyst William Reich coined the term. If this word and idea have been around since the 1920s, then why is there still so much shame around sexuality in our culture?! One large contributing factor is not having comprehensive sexual education in all schools. Some schools teach abstinence-only sexual education or even require a parent’s signature to allow children to receive sex ed, so some kids are either told don’t have sex until they’re married, while some children don’t get any information at all. 

Sex positivity in education

Comprehensive sex education teaches things like consent, as well as LGBTQ+ sex, information about STDs, sexual desire, and the biology behind sex. Having sex education be open and inclusive in the information it is giving will create healthier attitudes towards sex in children and teenagers when they are first learning about it. Studies have also shown that students who receive comprehensive sex education have their first sexual experience at a later age, have fewer instances of STDs, and have a lower rate of teen pregnancy. 

Now that you know what it means to be sex-positive, what are some ways you can practice this? For me, being sex-positive means knowing that sex and sexuality is an essential part of life. Sexuality should be celebrated. I feel free to explore my body and my sexuality without judgment or limitations. I accept other people’s sexual preferences and want to learn more about how people feel good, even if they are not my own preferences. I do not tolerate slut-shaming or the concept of “losing your virginity,” because these ideas perpetuate restrictions and shame put on people, especially young women when it comes to sexual expression. I also know that not everyone wants to have sex, and that is also part of being sex-positive! 

A really important part of sex positivity to me is wanting to learn more about sex and sexual expression. I also strive to never “yuck” somebody’s “yum,” meaning just because someone is into something you wouldn’t find pleasurable, don’t shame them for it! It’s good for them, but not for you, and that’s okay. 

If you’re interested in becoming more sex-positive, but don’t know where to start, look online. There are so many amazing sex educators online who help normalize talking about sexuality. Three of my favorite educators are Esther Perel, Shan Boodram, and Hannah Witton. Start with some education, and eventually, you’ll feel open to discussing sexuality as well. Let’s leave sex-negativity BEHIND in 2021. Sex positivity only going forward!

“Ingredients: Rayon and/or Cotton Fiber. Polyester or Cotton String, Polysorbate 20.” Those are the ingredients in my tampon of choice, “Playtex Sport’ unscented tampons. My “U by Kotex” menstrual pads don’t list any ingredients anywhere on the box. Even though I use these products every month, and have used them for YEARS, and will use them for years to come, I’ve never considered what ingredients I’m putting inside of my body.

Organic Ingredients?

If you’ve ever listened to literally any podcast with women on it, you’ve probably heard an ad for Lola. Lola is a subscription-based period product company that uses 100% organic tampons. With Lola and other organic cotton period products becoming popular, there’s been a lot of talk about what ingredients are in menstrual products and whether or not they are safe for us.

Several years ago the Menstrual Products Right to Know Act of 2017 was created. This act proposed that manufacturers had to list all of the ingredients of period products on the box so consumers could be one hundred percent informed. I didn’t realize this wasn’t already enforced, and because the pads I use don’t list ingredients, it seems this act didn’t get passed, so it’s hard to know what you are putting in or close to your body each month.

Finding Research on these Ingredients

From all of the research that I’ve done, it seems people are very unclear about which chemicals in period products are actually bad for us. I found numerous conflicting reports about similar ingredients, so honestly, I’m still not sure which ingredients are truly “good” or “bad.” It is important to note, however, that most of the articles I found talking about how toxic tampon and pad ingredients are were written five or more years ago. This shows that more research needs to be done on this topic so we can have more conclusive and definitive answers. I think part of the reason extensive research on this topic hasn’t been done is that there is such a stigma surrounding menstruation and so much shame in talking about it. We need to talk about periods, and we need to get that research done! But I digress…

Toxic Shock Syndrome

If you use 100% organic period products, obviously you don’t need to worry about any chemicals in your body. Although organic cotton period products don’t have chemicals in them, it is still possible to get Toxic Shock Syndrome from leaving a tampon in for too long. Don’t get lulled into a false sense of security and leave your tampon in for more than eight hours. You’ll still be at risk for TSS, even if your products are organic. Menstrual cups are also recommended as alternatives for tampons and pads that are full of chemicals. Most menstrual cups are made of body-safe silicone or rubber, last for up to 12 hours, and don’t have the same chemicals in them that tampons do.

From what I’ve found, it seems chlorine, dioxin, BPA, rayon, and “fragrance” are the most harmful chemicals overall. Although there are some misconceptions about chlorine and rayon used in tampons.

Chlorine 

This was used for bleaching tampons in the 1990s, but actual chlorine is no longer used. All brands use chlorine-free bleaching agents to clean their products, and according to the FDA, this is safe. When it comes to tampon production, “bleaching” is used to clean and purify the fibers of cotton or rayon used in the product. The tampon being “bleached” white isn’t the goal or reason for using chlorine in this part of the process.

Bleaching is done to reduce the levels of dioxins in these products. Dioxins are “chemically-related compounds that are persistent environmental pollutants.” What does that mean? Dioxins are a grouping of dangerous chemicals present in our environment that can be very damaging if high levels of exposure persist. Through these chlorine-free bleaching methods, the levels of dioxins in tampons are severely lessened to a supposedly safe level, and the levels of dioxins in our environment pose a much greater threat than those in our tampons.

BPA 

Bisphenol A (BPA) is a chemical found in plastic. You probably see refillable water bottles advertised as “BPA-free”— this is that same thing. BPA has been linked to disrupt hormones and cause other health issues. BPA would only be present in your applicators and not in the actual tampon itself, so look for BPA-free applicators, or use cardboard applicators or applicator-free tampons instead if this is a concern.

Rayon 

This showed up as a “bad” chemical in a lot of my research, but I also found just as many sources saying it’s okay. According to Tampax’s website and the FDA, the rayon used in menstrual products is completely safe. Rayon has been called unsafe because it’s a synthetic material, so people fear that it could increase the likelihood of toxic shock syndrome if any rayon fibers are left behind in the body. This is hasn’t been proven, and just as I said before, even organic tampons can still cause TSS.

Fragrance

You should never use ANY vagina products that list “fragrance” as an ingredient. Fragrances will not only disrupt your vaginal pH, which can lead to infections but products are not required to list what exactly goes into that “fragrance.” Always get unscented tampons, pads, or toilet paper, and stay away from vaginal hygiene products.

Oh and that polysorbate 20 that was one of the ingredients in my tampons? It’s apparently used in a lot of skincare/makeup/hygiene products to help with odor and is “supposedly” not harmful for your body.

Like I said before, it’s hard to know what levels of which chemicals are actually safe for our bodies because of the lack of scientific research done to regulate these products and all of the conflicting information out there. It seems that cotton and rayon tampons are okay, but if knowing completely what ingredients are in your menstrual products is important to you, using 100% organic cotton tampons or a menstrual cup would be the safest. These products don’t use chemicals found in other tampons, and they are fragrance-free.

As I mentioned before, the conflicting reports on ingredients I found while doing research just further show that menstrual hygiene and women’s health needs to be a priority so we can be fully informed on what we’re putting into our bodies.